quarta-feira, 7 de agosto de 2019

Idk How To Make Friends

*this is a dramatic text about not knowing how to make friends*

It’s been three years since my group of friends and I left high school. Now we are in college, living the best and worst of our lives and trying to accept that. Throughout all of this time, I noticed that it becomes more difficult to make friends and meeting people. I know we are still young, but we would like to have more friends and meet people on a regular basis. As you could probably tell, it doesn’t happen. I can say that the majority of my friends are introverts, or have social anxiety or some kinda thing that make us stay in the corner of the club or not dancing in front of everybody — except when we are drunk, of course.
We are usually worried about making friends as adults and meeting new people like the young adults we are. We do want to have more friends and expand our contacts list — does anyone still use that?
Since kindergarten, I’ve always had many friends, till the day I reduced my list to one. Then, it grew again. Nowadays I have two groups of friends, my “since we were born” friends and college friends. For me, it is more than enough, but sometimes I miss the feeling of opening up to somebody new and become their favorite person. I miss the feeling of getting to know somebody that could join one of my group of friends and come on vacations with us. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy anymore. I don’t have the courage I had when I was younger to approach someone and ask them “do you wanna be my best friend?” and suddenly we wouldn’t leave each other.
It's quite rough for us to go out and come home with some new friends. It happened once because we were drunk. If we weren’t we wouldn’t go back to that place to visit them and create new memories, which is quite sad. How are we supposed to meet new people without alcohol and social media? How am I supposed to meet my future husband, if I cannot approach anyone?
I remember making a lot of friends, I know nothing about now, on stan Twitter and the Facebook version of that. But real life isn’t social media. Plus rejection is something I am afraid of. Nobody tells us that one day we will need to make new friends, outside of college and workplaces, and how difficult that is. Even though I said I miss being open with somebody and get to meet someone — friendship and love wise — I do not want to end up hurt or embarrassed or anything like that.
I should not have to worry about this because I have two amazing groups of friends, but I want to meet more people. We want to meet more people. We want to go out and play cards with people — thanks to old men and women who always talk to us and want to be our friends. You are amazing and something we want to become.
Does this sound dramatic at all? Okay, maybe it does, but the truth is that it sucks to be an introverted sometimes. It sucks to have social anxiety and not have an extroverted friend or be drunk all the time. ’Cause for me alcohol is the answer, but I cannot be drunk all the time. I wish I could, but I already ignore my responsibilities 23/7. Can’t waste my last hour drinking.
I need an article that tells me how to approach people if you are shy and sober. We do not want to spend the rest of our days in bed, reading books we have read twice, binge watching tv series thousands of times, when we could be watching Mean Girls with our new friends while drinking something that’s not water. (I kinda don’t want to meet the love of my life on tinder too, but that’s asking too much.)
I also need an article that tells me that it is possible to create new friendships after college and work hours. I know it would be difficult to balance personal life, work, love life, mid-age crisis and other stuff with new friendships and the distance that probably comes with it. But for f*cksake! I do wanna meet my next best friend in the supermarket or on the bus when I get old. I know it is — to some extent — unlikely to maintain a friendship like that, even though the movies say it is possible. It can be tiring, but I do wanna be like the Wine Country ladies when I get old.
So can someone write an article about making friends as an adult? And another one about making friends and meeting new people as a shy, introverted, group of friends? Thank you, I guess I’m not the only person thanking you right now.
I just need you to tell me how to become a dolphin instead of being the turtle I am. I can’t figure it out on my own, neither can my friends. We are and will be old turtles, navigating an ocean of loneliness, slowly and steadily. Once again, I know this is all way too dramatic, but I’m trying to make a point (laughs). All of those metaphors might make you and me laugh, but they are real. I’m sure we aren’t the only ones wanting to make friends but don’t know how- okay, maybe we should just say hi. 
I truly don’t know what to say more about this. I hope that when I get older and during this summer I have the guts to approach people and say hi. To make new friends and meet the guy I wanna date. If not, well… alcohol will help me do the job.

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